Cause of Headache

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.

"The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck" Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure ..." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2... E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see... 7-5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." The hat fit perfectly.

Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure..." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.

Remark:

Do you catch the joke? I believe if Joe had had shop for his wears from this shop right before he make the drastic decision, he would have saved him all the suffering and unnecessary expenses.

Wonder Machine

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

Remark:

This joke is amazing difficult to diggest by a small group of people. The catch is the transfer of pain to the father and is unberable to have it turned to 50% or more. The machine works well, as the wife had delivered her baby with virtually no pain, the "father" however was ecstatic seemingly with no suffer of any pain. But ...

Funniest Sight

A farmer's wife decided to kill a rooster for their dinner. Her husband was the one who did the butchering but he was away and the wife was too squeamish to cut the rooster's head off so she settled on hitting it over the head with a rolling pin. As she was pulling the last of its feather's off the rooster revived and started squawking loudly. The woman felt sorry for the rooster so she made a little suit for it and put it back in the barnyard.

A while later the farmer came into the kitchen roaring with laughter The wife asked the farmer what he was laughing at. Said the farmer "I just saw the funniest sight. A rooster was holding a hen down with one foot and trying to open his fly with the other.

Remark:
The description on the sight of a rooster with a little suit couple with the environment is the key of this joke. It needs a little imagination on the descriptive act of the moment to gain the joy of this joke.

Idea

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea. Buddha

Remark:
Only if we have put our action into an idea then the creation of idea could only be materialised and it will lead to another idea.

Act of Innocent

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl."Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter?"

Remark:
In this joke, it has reflected how misleading the direction of use can be. Obviously enough, it also demonstrate how innocent was the main actor herself. No joke there are also cases where someone had worn the condom on the dumb after a demonstration by the Doctor from family planning.

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'


The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.


He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'


She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires.

Remark:
In this embarrass situation, the assistant had handle the situation well. She manage to switch the embarrass situation to an more enlightening humorous atmosphere. Both parties involved were contained the embarrass situation and enjoy the thought of the joke without en rousing others' attention.